Here goes nothin'...

I have not blogged and have never been one to journal before, so am really nervous doing this.  However, after attending a seminar at my church this last weekend, I realized blogging may be very helpful right now.  So, here it goes...
I am blessed to be the wife of an awesome, Jesus-loving man.  He prays over me and with me and sets my heart at ease.  We have not always had the perfect relationship, but strive to make Christ center in our marriage.  By doing so, we are stronger together year after year and I find myself loving him more and more.  I am tremendously thankful for Matt. 
I am also blessed to be a mother.  Blessed in this area for so many reasons.  First, I am blessed to have actually have had a baby.  I have been a Type 1 diabetic, born with one kidney, for over 25 years.  My husband and I were not sure we would be able to physically have children for a very long time.  We were open to adopting for years (more on this later).  However, a few of my doctors and a fellow diabetic friend gave us encouragement to try to have a baby.  We tried for a year to get pregnant, suffered one miscarriage, and then, four months later, became pregnant again and were blessed with my daughter, Ainsley.  My pregnancy was complicated.  Around 33 weeks, during a routine blood test, we were told I needed to go to a blood specialist immediately as my blood platelet count had dropped.  I had no idea what a hematologist was and when we arrived at the office, I was shocked to discover he practiced in an office that treated very ill patients suffering from cancer and leukemia.  My doctors monitored my blood platelets for the next three weeks.  The day before my water broke, my platelets were high enough that it looked like I would be able to have a safe delivery in a few weeks.  However, God had other plans, and my water broke the next day.  Upon arriving at the hospital, my platelets had dropped again and Matt and I were faced with two options - I could have Ainsley 100% naturally (without any pain medication) or I could go under general anesthesia and face having to have a blood transfusion.  The doctors gave us a few minutes to discuss our options, which seemed pretty clear to me - I was having my baby naturally.  So, the pitocin drip began and six excruciating hours later, I held the most perfect gift from God in my arms.  Ainsley arrived four weeks early, but was able to leave the hospital with us the next day.  She is still today, and will always be, my special gift from God. 

Six months after Ainsley was born, Matt and I decided we would not try to physically have a baby again.  The risks are too great.  So, we felt blessed to be the parents of one incredible little girl.  We were fine to have an only child and over the next two and a half years, we gave away many of our baby items.  God, however, had very different plans!  After we babysat our friends four daughters one Saturday, Matt and I talked about adopting again.  We talked about being open to the idea and possibly starting the process in the future.  The next day, our pastor preached on the genealogy of Christ and adoption.  I looked at Matt during the sermon with tears in my eyes and we started the process of finding an agency within the next week.  So, this is where this blog begins...