Average

I cannot stand the word average.  Perhaps it is my slightly competitive nature, but I just don't like it.  From birth, we are either above average, average, or below average.  We are constantly compared to the "average."  As a parent, I worried when Ainsley was a baby because, in general, she was always smaller than average.  She still is.  However, at some point I finally accepted that my daughter is just very tall and skinny and I let the word mean nothing in my mind except a useful gauge for her doctor.  Even less than the "average" weight for her age, she is still perfectly healthy, brilliant, and beautiful.  Someday, she will probably love being very tall and skinny.  I mean, I know I'd sure like to have long skinny legs. 

I do realize averages can be useful, but in waiting for our next baby through adoption, I am reminded again how little I like this word.  The average waiting time for a family in our adoption agency is about a 12 to 24 months.  When we first began this process, the wait was more along nine to 18 months, however, there are now more families waiting than when we began and the agency is still placing the same number of children.  I am suddenly fearful of being less than average and waiting far longer than 24 months.  Our agency offers an optional online family profile.  I check this page at least once a week to see if anyone new has been updated to "Placement Pending" status.  On one side, I look at each of the other families as competition.  These are the other people who a birth mom is going to see when she's making one of the most important and difficult decisions of her life.  The other side of me is truly cheering for each and every one of these families because they all look like lovely, nice people.  People I could be friends with.  And, all they want is the same thing I want - a baby.  They are each waiting for that super special little miracle God has planned just for them.  This online page reminds me each week to continue to pray for each of these families in the exact same way I pray for ours.  Lord, please bring this family a baby and please help them to be strong while they wait for what you have planned. 

Average.  Right now, we are average.  We have been waiting approximately six months.  By knowing the average, I have prepared myself to wait much longer.  Lord, help me to be strong enough to wait for what you have planned.  This is what I pray for - I pray that we are waiting only within the "average" time.  Right now, I'm praying to be average.